Ninjas with burnt thumbs

So the other night I decide that some garlic bread would be good to have with dinner. Seeing as how our crappy oven heats up so slowly, I turned on the broiler.
I don't know quite what happened. Normally I'm painfully aware of my surroundings at all times, even when sleeping or otherwise unconscience, I mean you kind of have to be when you're a Ninja. You never know when a pirate might decide to track you down and try to loot your booty. And I happen to like my booty right where it is thank you very much. Or one of those rival Ninja clans that are always trying to get at me and my fellow Ninjas, that kind of thing.
So maybe my Ki was off balance, maybe I rushed through my Kuji-Kiri, I'm not quite sure. What I do know is that as I was putting the bread bag in the oven, the top of my right thumb touched the broiler element, which at that time was heated to about 350 degrees.
Now again, I must have just been "off" that night because come on, what's 350 degrees to a Ninja? Well, that night it was just a little on the hot side. I pulled my thumb away, noticed SMOKE (!!!) as I did so, and proceeded to loudly verbalize my displeasure in the form of several brilliantly crafted expletives. I was very thorough, and made sure to systematically include pretty much every single derogatory and despicable word I know in the English language . Plus some in Spanish, Japanese, French, Pig Latin, Frog Latin, Hillbilly and a few other languages I made up on the spot just for the occasion.
When I was done I looked over at my cat and his ears were burning.
After cornering the market on ice cubes, cold meat, and wetting down my cat and holding him against my thumb (Note to self: Get Mr. Tumnus declawed!!!) the pain subsided enough for me to sleep.
Sometimes I feel that my mind likes to work against me. Not always, just when I use my brain. I was lying there trying to sleep, having foregone the nighttime Ninja relaxation exercises, and I started thinking about my thumb again.
What if I had pulled off some skin when I pulled it away from the burner? Had I lost that skin permanantly? Would they have to take some skin off of my finely shaped Ninja butt, and graft it onto my thumb? What would my thumb look like? Would my butt ever be the same again??
I then began imagining what my thumb would look like with skin grafted onto it. It looked like Freddy Kruger!...'s thumb! At night it would start to move of it's own accord! It'd make my hand crawl....to where? To get a knife?! No..that's just stupid isn't it? Of course it is....because I don't keep knives in my bedroom. I keep swords in my bedroom....(pirates like to crash through bedroom windows) And there's no way my thumb could pick up a sword...what a dumb idea...
But toothpicks! It could get at toothpicks! Would it go for my eyes?! Then what? Once it had taken care of me, what was to stop it from killing the world??!! I mean it's a Ninja Thumb!!! Nothing could stop it!!
My only hope is my cat! I must train my cat in the ways of Ninja! Maybe he would have a chance of defeating my thumb!
MR. TUMNUS! HEEL! YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE! PREPARE FOR TRAINING!

AHHHHH BLAST THOSE INFERNAL CLAWS!!!

Let this be a lesson to all: If you see a Ninja burn his thumb, for the sake of all humankind...

GET. HIM. AN ICECUBE. AND A BANDAID!!!