Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A present for GM.

I've decided that I will give GM a gift. I don't expect much in return. Maybe just a new car every year for the rest of my life. I think that would be a fair trade for saving them don't you think? I realize I may be too late, seeing as how GM now stands for Government Motors, and if it really is too late for them to use my suggestion, then maybe some other car company CEOs can rub their skulls together and decide to use my idea. It's a simple idea, and I'll tell you how I stumbled upon it:
I was driving (in my reliable non-american brand name car) and my wife was sitting in the seat next to me. I came to a 4 way stop, or maybe it was a stop light. Ok what matters is that I had to stop the car for some reason and wait on other drivers. Before I decided the coast was clear enough to move along, in my right ear I hear this: "Are you gonna go? I mean Christmas is just around the corner."
Several miles down the road, I had to change lanes, I believe. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but I was informed that, "It's ok....I'm only on the kill side!"
It was at this point I decided that I was done driving and it didn't matter that the car was still traveling and around 60 miles an hour. I said, "Ok, I'm done." and promptly let go of the wheel and stared out the driver's side window in search of something else to hold my interest. The car traveled on, merrily careening down the road, first from one lane and then to another, then off of the road altogether, all the while my wife screaming something about look out for such and such and ohhhh no "we're gonna die!" and I'm sitting there staring out the window and covering my ears while chanting, "I'M NOT LISTENING I'M NOT LISTENING I'M NOT LISTENING BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH".....you get the picture.

Then we crashed and died.
All of this could have been averted had our car manufacturer made a slight modification. You see, I'm sure I'm not the only one whose wife has informed him that, "I'm just not equipped to ride in a car and be quiet about your driving." I'm also sure that there are wives who have heard the same thing from their husbands, although I'm also sure I'd be hard pressed to find that wife. I'm just going to say that in the interest of fairness, and because I'm sure I'm already pushing my chances of having to sleep on the couch tonight.
What is that modification, you ask? Well I'll tell you then:
Dual steering wheels, and another brake and gas pedal on the passenger side.
Think of it: The next time you think to yourself, "That's it, I'm done driving!" You don't have to sit there while your car barrels down the road and plays chicken with an overpass wall....you can merely scoot your seat back and let your passenger take over, while you relax in comfort and stare out the window and look for something else to hold your interest.
If GM had made cars with this little feature, they would be outselling Ferrari, I guarantee you!




(love you honey!)